Colin Jost’s best jokes at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner began Saturday evening. “Saturday Night Live” author and actor Colin Jost took the stage as the evening’s host. As usual, Jost opened the evening with a comedy set that touched on everything from the Trump trial to Biden’s age to the state of the print media.

The set (which you can see in full in the video above) was received somewhat unevenly in the room, particularly when Jost took aim at the journalism industry, but before we get to his best zingers, Jost finished strong “SNL” The Weekend Update host needed a break to get serious with a story about his late grandfather.

“He helped raise me and without him I wouldn’t be here today,” Jost said, adding that he was a Staten Island firefighter for 40 years and reminded him a lot of President Biden.

“Some of your best qualities remind me of him. He was 95 and still was Great on stairs,” said Jost, laughing. “I think it’s because he didn’t try to power them up.”

Jost noted that Staten Island firefighters aren’t exactly Joe Biden’s demographic (“Staten Island voted about 70% for Trump in the last election and the other 30% for Giuliani,” he quipped).

“He voted for you. And the reason he voted for you is because you’re a decent man,” Jost said. “My grandpa voted for decency and decency is the reason we are all here tonight. Decency is why we can be here tonight.”

He continued: “If you look at the degrees of freedom throughout history and even today around the world, this is the exception.” This freedom is incredibly rare. And the journalists in this room are helping to protect that freedom, and we can never take that for granted.”

Now to the jokes, which began with a reference to Jost’s wife Scarlett Johansson’s “SNL” appearance as Katie Britt.

• “Good evening everyone, I’m Colin Jost and I’ll be delivering the Republican response.”
• “I’ll be honest with you, I don’t have much time. I have to go back to New York because I’m the fifth juror in a big trial. Trump’s lawyer took one look at me and said, ‘He has to be on our side.'”
• “Doug, as you can tell from all the comments about my wife, I’m used to being the second gentleman too.”
• “I would like to point out that it is past 10 p.m. and Sleepy Joe is still awake, while Donald Trump has spent the last week falling asleep in court, even though Fox News said he was just against waking up.”
• “We’re all here at the nerd prom. Well, Matt Gaetz is a prom regular.”
• “My Weekend Update co-host Michael Che wanted to join me tonight, but in solidarity with President Biden, I have decided to drop all of my Black support. Che told me to say this and I’m only now realizing I was framed.”
• “Wordle is here tonight. Sorry, sorry, I meant the New York Times. I forgot that they do other things besides puzzles. I have to say, it’s not a good sign when the only thing keeping a print media company alive are games people play on their phones.”
• “The last time I was in DC I left my cocaine at the White House. Fortunately, the president was able to put it to good use during the State of the Union.”
• “Isn’t it crazy that he’s only our second Catholic president? And what’s even crazier is that we’ll have our third one on RFK Jr. in just a few months. I’m just kidding, like his vaccination card says, he has no chance.”
• “By the way, now that OJ is dead, who is the new front-runner for Trump’s running mate? Is it Diddy? If Trump actually chose Diddy as his running mate, I bet this race would still be tied.”
• “This may be the worst time in history to be a print journalist, but it is the best time in history to work as a courtroom cartoonist. My God, the most famous man in the world is on trial and there are no cameras allowed, just the artists and their desire to make Trump look as bad as possible. Every Trump sketch looks like the Grinch had sex with the Lorax.”
• “I would really like to take a moment to recognize all the print journalists in this room. Your words speak truth to power. Your words bring light into the darkness. And most importantly, your words train the AI ​​programs that will soon replace you.”
• “I wanted to thank my family and friends for being here tonight to support me. I want to thank my wife for putting up with a lot of jokes and for agreeing to meet everyone in this room individually right after the ceremony.”